Maby Dogs Can Read

Man's Fake Organ is Found in Drug Test

They come with a choice of skin colors: white, tan, brown or black. Athletes have been known to pack one in the suitcase to beat steroid tests. Marijuana magazines, such as High Times, flaunt them on advertisements. The U.S. Congress has held hearings on them. But when a 31-year-old man tried Monday to use a prosthetic penis to pass a urine test for drugs, he got caught with his pants down. Ahmed R. Hicks of Zephyrhills is now charged with fraudulent urine testing, a first-degree misdemeanor that could land him with up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. Hicks was undergoing the drug test as part of parole procedures related to earlier cocaine-sale charges. He ran into trouble when a probation officer overseeing the test noticed the device did not match Hicks' dark complexion. Probation officer James F. Yebba noted that the device also "appeared to be detached from his person," a report said. The devices are no strangers to Pasco police logs. Police have characterized them as a gimmick, and warned anyone tempted to use them that officers do get "up close and personal" during urine analyses to check on the process. There are several brands, including the "Original Whizzinator" made by Puck Technology of Signal Hill, Calif. Hicks' arrest report said his device was of an unknown brand.

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Snappy-Suited Boy, 11, Is Lemonade Entrepreneur

When you walk or drive by the corner of 49th St. and France Ave. in Minneapolis, it’s hard not to notice the 11-year-old boy selling lemonade wearing a business suit.
Ethan Esparza takes dressing for success to a new level. "When the people saw me, they just really thought it was cute," Esparza said. "I got a lot of money, so I thought, ‘Maybe I’ll wear a suit every time I do a lemonade stand'." He started three years ago, when he was only eight, wearing the suit and tie almost every day.
Esparza’s casual attire was a disaster, "Once I wore a T-shirt, I just made five bucks." He works the yard in front of his grandmother’s house every Tuesday and Saturday. His uniform attracts large crowds and big tippers. Mary Looney remarked, "I think he’s the most professional-looking lemonade salesman I’ve ever seen. We had to stop."

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Katrina survivors sport memorial tattoos

Tattoo artists citywide say nearly a year after the hurricane that killed more than 1,577 Louisiana residents, as many as half of tattoo customers want storm-related images. "It's kind of morbid, really, but I guess people are having strong emotions about what happened and they don't know how else to say it," said Annette LaRue, the owner of Electric Ladyland Tattoos. Jim Hand, a 58-year-old retired postal worker, had much of his lower left leg covered with a large fleur-de-lis. An eery, dark skull protrudes from the stylized lily that is the city's symbol. The skull represents "something taking it over," he said. "Like pirates." Lyons' shop has a book of fleur-de-lis images, including one engulfed in flames with banners that read: "Through Hell or High Water" and "NOLA Forever." "We used to get one, maybe two requests a week, now it's one or two a day," Lyons said of the fleurs-de-lis, which since Katrina are requested by themselves or incorporated in larger storm-themed images.Travis Diebolt of Crescent City Tattoo Co. said his clients have asked for tattoos of the city skyline, the boot-shaped state of Louisiana and banners listing names of victims. And at Art Accent French Quarter Tattoo parlor, Ray Nazworth says he's etched cracked and crumbling bricks and snapped tree limbs into clients' skin. Lyons believes the tattoos are a kind of therapy for Katrina survivors."A big part of their lives has been lopped off," he said. "This is a way to reclaim that and say, 'I'm proud of who I am, where I'm from, that I'm here.' "

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Bad Day

Inmates To Begin Move Into Jail Tents

After months of construction, Brevard County jail officials plan to start moving inmates from the overcrowded jail into one of four new reinforced tents over the weekend, according to Local 6 News partner Florida Today.

Workers have completed fine-tuning the first tent, clearing construction and corrections officers have said they’re ready to move up to 100 inmates into the first tent.

The four olive-green structures stand 30 to 60 feet apart next to the jail entrance.

Signs on 15-foot-high fencing warn visitors not to loiter or talk to inmates. The fence’s looping razor wiring shines as nearby pine trees give shade.

Last year, county commissioners OKed financing the $15.7 million jail expansion project. When the whole project is completed next year, more than 600 beds will be added to the jail in Sharpes, Florida Today reported.

In addition to the tents, a jail extension that would house nearly 300 more people is expected to be built by the middle of next year. That's expected to be used for inmates with mental and medical problems.

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cock slapped

Random Hottie

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U.S. deploys missile destroyer to Japan

A new top-of-the-line U.S. guided missile destroyer was deployed to Japan on Saturday, amid tensions over North Korea's missile tests.

The USS Mustin sailed into the port of Yokosuka, home to the Navy's 7th Fleet, with a crew of 300 for permanent assignment to the region, 7th Fleet spokeswoman Hanako Tomizuka said.

The Mustin, commissioned in 2003, is one of the most advanced in the fleet.

Its deployment to Yokosuka was previously planned and not in response to North Korea's missile tests, Tomizuka said.

Pyongyang stunned the region on Wednesday by test-firing seven missiles.

In August, Yokosuka will also welcome the USS Shiloh, which last month demonstrated its ability to shoot down missile warheads in a landmark test off the coast of Hawaii.

Both the Mustin and the Shiloh are equipped with radar systems that employ so-called Aegis technology, which is geared toward tracking and shooting down enemy missiles.

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Al Qaeda suspect held in Germany

Germany's federal prosecutor's office announced Saturday it has arrested a German of Moroccan descent on charges that he recruited suicide bombers for Iraq and financially supported the al Qaeda terrorist network.

German police arrested Redouane E.H., 36, on Thursday in the northern German city of Hamburg, according to a statement on the prosecutor's Web site. The suspect is from the nearby town of Kiel, where police searched several homes before his arrest.

He was nabbed after German investigators monitored his online chats.

The suspect was remanded to federal custody Friday after a court appearance in Karlsruhe.

He is accused of having numerous contacts with international terrorists in Syria, Algeria and Iraq. According to the prosecutor's office, he completed an explosives training course in Algeria in November and has ties to the Hamburg al Qaeda cell that included September 11 hijackers Mohamed Atta, Marwan el-Shehhi and Ziad Jarrah.

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Child dies during 'Roman execution'

A police officer's son slipped on to a knife and was stabbed through the heart as his father demonstrated a Roman execution, an inquest has heard.
Conor Johnson, 11, who was staying with his father, Pc Ian Johnson, last August, died from a single stab wound.

The hearing in West Sussex heard Mr Johnson, of Littlehampton, had used a four-inch kitchen knife to re-enact pictures in a book about Roman times.

Worthing Magistrates' Court recorded a verdict of accidental death.

The inquest was read a statement made by the 40-year-old, in which he told how he had bought his son a book about gladiators and the Roman arenas.

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If You Laugh At This Your Going To Hell

Bling

Romantic Lines... Not!

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but the least romantic second line.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,
and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

Sex, men and women

How do men feel about sex? Duh! For all you ever want to know on the subject, just purview the women's magazines at your local bookstore. It is a staple feature. I suppose the pornography magazines have something to say about it, too, but not sex of the healthy variety. I have the added benefit of trying to help many couples resolve their sexual difficulties in marriage. Some common male complaints emerge about sexual problems in their marriages. Sexual fulfillment is an important emotional need in marriage Many men list sexual fulfillment as one of their top three emotional needs, quite accurately predicted by their spouses. An interesting difference between men and women is that when a man's top three or four needs are met in the relationship, he is generally content and doesn't get too disturbed when other needs are not met. Women, on the other hand, like most of their 11 needs to be met, in order to be content in their marriage. Not often do they list sexual fulfillment as one of their top three needs. Emotional intimacy and affection often come first.

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Clutch - A Shotgun Named Marcus

Hottie Of The Day Wanessa Lilio

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Everyone Is To Stupid

What the hell is wrong with people today everyone is to fucking stupid. Not any one reading this of course if you are reading my blog you are not stupid a little perverse maybe but definitely not stupid. I’m talking about the rest of humanity am I just a cynical asshole or are there just no people left who are just decent honest intelligent human beings. I couldn't sleep so I decided to go to a chat room something I have not done in years. Then I realize why I have not gone to a chat room in years I hate stupid people. I just sat there for a wile and watched the mindless ignorant crap spewing from peoples fingertips and appearing on my screen. I truly don't get it why is it I cant seem to find any one I can relate to. I’m 23 and I cant relate to any one my one age. I have no friends not because people don’t like me quite the opposite. I had to tell everyone I know I was moving to a different state and change my phone number just to get my old friends to leave me alone and they still send me emails asking me why we never hang out. We don’t hang out because all they ever want to do is get drunk and smoke pot. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against smoking pot I used to smoke lots of pot but there’s more to life than getting high and that’s all they care about. I’m starting to think its me that im just a jaded cynical asshole.