The Asphole: 12/31/06

LSD

Courtney Love: POP Magazine Nude

Seinfeld "Lost Episode" Featuring Kramer's Racist Statements

Man Posted Nude Pictures Of Wife In Neighborhood

An East Cleveland firefighter faces charges after nude pictures of his wife were posted in their neighborhood.

A poster containing a series pornographic pictures were found in the East 105th Street and Lee Avenue area, NewsChannel5 reported.

Police said 52-year-old Michael Gunn put up the pictures to get back at his common-law wife.

Gunn The posters were found on telephone poles and houses, and police said he spread copies on his estranged wife's front lawn. The poster reads that she was never a house wife.

Gunn is serving 140 days at Cleveland's workhouse for violating his wife's restraining order.

Now he faces a charge of pandering obscenity. That could earn him up to a year in jail.

First-Grader Found With Cocaine In Class

A first-grader in Leesburg, Fla., was found with a bag of cocaine in class that contained enough of the drug to possibly kill a small child, according to police.
Authorities said the 6-year-old boy had a plastic bag containing a half a gram of cocaine at Beverly Shores Elementary School Tuesday. "It's sad that you had a first-grader carrying drugs of any kind on campus," Leesburg police Capt. Ginny Padgett said. A classmate of the boy who had the drug told a teacher that the boy was telling others that it was sugar or dope, police said. "And (the teacher) called him to the front of the classroom and had him hand it over to her," Padgett said. "It came out positive for cocaine." The child claims he found the cocaine when he was playing at the Spring Harbor apartment complex in Mount Dora. However, he also said another student may have slipped it into his pocket. Deputies are questioning the boy's family and friends to find out if maybe he took it from an adult. "Is he a victim and come across something bad like drugs that could have killed him or did he know what he was doing?" Padgett said."So far, no charges are pending in the case," Local 6's Jessica D'Onofrio said. The Department of Children and Families is investigating.

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Some Shitty Band Ruins The Song I Think Were Alone Now

THEY FUCKED THIS SONG UP

GG ALLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesbian singer is voted 'coolest' person in rock

A 15-stone lesbian activist from Arkansas is now the coolest figure in rock, according to the annual list published by NME.

The “rock goddess” is back, declared the weekly publication after revealing its annual Cool List, compiled at the discretion of its editorial team.

The NME Cool Icon is Beth Ditto, a larger-than-life punk feminist who fronts the Gossip, an American band. Her vocals have been compared to Janis Joplin’s.

Ditto provoked controversy after saying that she was not surprised by shootings among pupils in US schools because depressed teenagers did not get the help they needed from the authorities.

The NME Cool List Top Ten:

1 Beth Ditto, The Gossip
2 Faris Rotter, The Horrors
3 Lily Allen
4 Jarvis Cocker
5 Karen O, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
6 Kieren Webster, The View
7 Kate Jackson, The Long Blondes
8 Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance
9 Thom Yorke, Radiohead
10 Lovefoxxx, CSS

Nerd Passions

Is anyone else reminded of the lowerd expectations scetch they used to do on Mad TV.

Milkman By David Firth

Marijuana Is Bad Mmmkay!

Low temperature SEM magnification series for a snow crystal.

8 images of a snow crystal continually zoomed in until 36000x

HOTTIE OF THE YEAR!!!!!! Kerry Marie

Scientist Fights Church Effort to Hide Museum's Pre-Human Fossils

Famed paleoanthropologist Richard Leakey is giving no quarter to powerful evangelical church leaders who are pressing Kenya's national museum to relegate to a back room its world-famous collection of hominid fossils showing the evolution of humans' early ancestors.

Leakey called the churches' plans "the most outrageous comments I have ever heard."

He told The Daily Telegraph (London): "The National Museums of Kenya should be extremely strong in presenting a very forceful case for the evolutionary theory of the origins of mankind. The collection it holds is one of Kenya's very few global claims to fame and it must be forthright in defending its right to be at the forefront of this branch of science." Leakey was for years director of the museum and of Kenya's entire museum system.
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Joe Fish

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Iraq conflict passes WWII

THEY were America's days of infamy, 60 years apart - Pearl Harbour and September 11. The first led the US into World War II, a conflict it endured for 1348 days; the second was followed by a war that from tomorrow will have lasted even longer.

America's involvement in Iraq will reach that milestone at a time when the clamour for withdrawal has never been louder, and the possibility of achieving it has never seemed so difficult. The decisive end of World War II in 1945 delivers no lessons that could be applied to a very different war in a very different era.

If anything, things seem to be getting worse, the options less appealing. Baghdad is reeling from the deadliest assault on Iraqi civilians since the start of the US invasion in March 2003. At least 200 people died and more than 250 were injured after six car bombs, mortar attacks and missiles battered the Shiite Muslim slum of Sadr City.
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$150 Crystal Bejeweled Vibrator

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Random Hottie

A Tutorial On How To Find The Femail G Spot

For The Love Of God SHAVE

Thing Moves Out

SCARY MARY

Mary Poppins trailer, re-cut as a horror film

Ethical Hacking

WTF

German Firm offers Spray-On Aerosol Kondom

The inventors of the SprayKondom hope it will help prevent sexually transmitted deseases and unwanted pregnancies by providing an easy, shake-and-spray contraceptive barrier. For more on this one, I will introduce you to excerpts from Babelfish's translation of the Product Page and be on my way. If you feel need to flee at any point while reading it, please run in a different direction to the one I took.

The new condom comes from the spray can and adapts to each member optimally. Cap off and condom over the Penis spray: The Latexhaut sits perfectly and is operational in few seconds. ... The advantages of the spray condom are obvious: it is easily and fast applicable, adapts to each Penisgroesse. Damage by transport or sun exposure belongs then exactly the same to the past like the question of the disposal: The natural rubber product decomposes and becomes humus. Thus the spray condom functions. ... Similarly as with the Deodorant we with aerosol liquid Latex sprayed on the Penis ... has the characteristic to vulcanize at room temperature. The india rubber changes thus from the plastic into the flexible condition and becomes in few seconds, rubber. ... Still condom testers are looked for, which already gained experience in handling condoms.
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First daughter Jenna Bush Beaver Shot.

The 10 most dangerous toys of all time

1. Lawn Darts

Removable parts? Suffocation risk? Lead paint? Pussy hazards compared to the granddaddy of them all. Lawn Darts, or "Jarts," as they were marketed, would never fly in our current ultra-paranoid, safety-helmeted, Dr. Phil toy culture. Lawn darts were massive weighted spears. You threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved. During their brief (and generally awesome) reign in 1980s suburbia, Jarts racked up 6,700 injuries and four deaths.

The lawn dart was put on the permanent no-fly list in 1988
The best part about Jarts was that they eliminated all speculation from true outdoor fun. (Is this dangerous? Hell yes, now chuck it!) And they were equal opportunity: All it took to play lawn darts was a sweaty grip. For good measure, it was also nice to have a small sibling around to stand on the other side of the house and tell you how your throw looked (and by how much you cleared the chimney).
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Hottie Of The Day Katt Messina

Dyke Dolls

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Top 50 Nip Slips

LEAGLE DRUGS Salvia divinorum A little test

Being the hardcore stoner i am and it being new years eve I'm conductuing a little test. I heard on the news about Salvia Divinorum a LEAGLE hallucinogen witch is being banned all over america and mexico. So i headed to the local Head Shop and bought some Salvia Divinorum Extract 10x for $15 I will let you all know how things turn out and if im not back tomorrow they went badly.
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My Little Brothers Website

This is my little brothers blog. So BE NICE and dont write any hatefull shit he's just A kid.
Fire Wolfs

Secret Science Declassified: The Isis Thesis

When scientists go to bed at night, monstrous thoughts haunt their minds. They wonder--does consciousness exist after death? What happens inside black holes? How are matter particles related to force particles? What is the origin of the geometry of spacetime and quantum phenomena? Who am I?

Nobel Laureate Louis de Broglie once said that despite great advances, Science has never been able to lift the veil of Isis. That is, until now. The Isis Thesis is a scientific study that was unveiled at the 2005 Third International Humanities Conference at the University of Cambridge. It explains Nature’s secrets that the ancient Egyptian Pharaohs understood. The study reveals that the Pharaohs were aware of bacterial genetics, space physics, quantum physics, and microbiology, including recent research in cosmology related to String Theory and Black Hole Theory.

Over an intensive research period, a transdisciplinary approach grounded in biosemiotics (biology interpreted as sign systems) decoded the Pharaohs’ amazing Science. Equal to modern scientific research, Egyptian knowledge not only defines the birth of the universe and the origin of life, but it also reveals a survival message for humanity, a natural design for human evolution. The study shows that the Egyptian afterlife is simply the domain of quantum physics, the world of tiny living particles. Put simply, eight major Egyptian texts spanning 2000 years support that Egyptian deities represent proteins and other molecules defining a pathway for horizontal gene transfer at human death.
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Clothes On Clothes Off

Church readies gifts for accused vandals

Congregants of a church that was badly vandalized have collected "love baskets" full of electronics for the three suspects.

"The judge will give them consequences, but as a congregation we want to reach out and extend love and mercy to them," said Jason Reimer, a pastor at the South Hills Evangelical Church. "A lot of us, whether we're churchgoers or not, have been in their shoes before and have made some bad choices. But God forgives us."

Justin Wurth, 18, Duane Barry, 19, and Tyler Pearce, also 19, are accused of breaking into the church just before midnight Nov. 12. Police say they stole money and electronic equipment, smashed windows and computer monitors and sprayed a fire extinguisher in the church gym.

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Chick with an Amazing Talent

Cave Man


Cave Man Erotic Cartoon

Boy Arrested For Opening Xmas Gift Early

DECEMBER 5--A South Carolina boy, 12, was arrested Sunday morning after his mother called police to report that he had unwrapped a Christmas present without her permission. According to a Rock Hill Police Department report (a copy of which you'll find below), the child opened a Nintendo Game Boy, though he had been directed not to by family members. When the boy's mother learned that the $85 gift had been opened, she called cops, who charged the juvenile with petty larceny. In an interview with The Herald newspaper, the boy's mother, a 27-year-old single parent, described her son as a disruptive child, noting that she hoped his arrest would serve as a corrective to disorderly behavior at school and home.

Set Diary for “The Cumming of Jizzus”

Day 1
(November 11th 2006)

It was a day at least 4 months in the making. It was somewhere about that long since scriptwriter Karina Jordi provided us with the script/idea we’d need to roll this project in motion, and investors had been nailed down. The project?

Cinema Sewer presents: THE CUMMING OF JIZZUS.

The relatively short 4 hour shoot for the first day of creating this triple X bible story provided some very exciting results. Chelsea Chainsaw directing, myself producing, doing sound (and doing whatever else I could on set to make things go smoothly), and "The Filthy Swede" and Jelena on Camera -- deftly capturing all the action.

It looked as if things might have fallen through right off the bat when the guy in charge of getting us a camera, lights, and sound recording equipment totally let us down -- for excuses that I never really properly cared to take the time to understand. I’m told that he later had the gall to phone and ask when the shoot was so that he could come by and check it out. This type of shit where you have to rely on other people (who could very well punk out) is the reason I’ve never gone into film making of any kind up to this point. I've instead stuck to self-publishing and drawing perverted comics... where I’m the director, actor, cameraman, and distributor. No one to blame for not showing up but myself.
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Electronic message bra

If you are a woman who possesses a pair of bosoms, you are probably aware that men look at them from time to time (defined as ''once every .000000000003 seconds''). This is NOT because men are lowlife sex-addict hound dogs. It is a vital instinct that Nature has ``hard-wired'' into males because, back when primitive humans were roaming around being primitive, the very survival of the species depended upon the male's ability to accurately determine, when he entered a group, which group members were females, and which ones were other males, and which ones were trees. That's right, ladies: Next time a guy is taking a gander at your goods, do not be critical of him, because he is only trying to save humanity from destruction, which is also why he is buying you a mojito.
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20 clever business signs

1) At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

2) In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

3) In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

4) On a Plumber's Shop:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."

6) Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

7) At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

8) On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

9) At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

10) Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."

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Holy Fuck

Animation Vs Animator 1&2