The Asphole: 06/25/06

Great Headline

Ashcroft made of porn

Whats On TV

That Is Fucking Scairy

The phone booth returns - to banish cell phones

Just in time for his return to the silver screen, Superman's trusty phone booth is back. Only this time, there's a bit more room for his biceps.

Because the pay phone itself is gone, today's booths are BYOC - bring your own cell phone.

In an effort to appease patrons and etiquette police, restaurants, bars, movie theaters and libraries are carving out spaces to separate yakkers from other customers.

Dennis Raney acknowledges that he has contributed to talk pollution. "I get on the cell phone and I do talk louder," says Raney, who last year launched Fort Wayne, Ind.-based C.P. Booth, a manufacturer of Clark Kent-era cabinets in clubby oak ($2,995) or diner-compatible melamine ($2,650).

Cingular took the initial step toward cell phone civility in 2002 by designating Courtesy Zones, with couches or counters, in about 50 Loews theater lobbies across the U.S.

Then in 2003, The Biltmore Room, a Manhattan eatery turned bar, became famous for its leather-walled cell phone booth, and Chicago's Boka restaurant unveiled its velvet-cushioned version.

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Wanted

DAD 'MOWS DOWN CAR VANDAL TEENS'

A FATHER-of-five accused of mowing down a group of yobs after his tyres were slashed and car attacked with baseball bats was last night being held for attempted murder.

Neighbours said the man was so furious he got into a van, chased the four-strong gang of vandals down the road... and ploughed into them. A youth of 17 was left fighting for his life with serious head injuries after the incident. Two boys were only slightly hurt and one uninjured.

The incident was said to have happened after a gang of youths wearing balaclavas smashed his car window with baseball bats and slashed the tyres with a knife.

Police and paramedics rushed Shipton-on-Cherwell, Oxfordshire, at around 11pm on Friday after being alerted by a passer-by.

The most severely injured boy was taken to the John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford. He was yesterday said to be in a stable condition, after being taken off a life support machine. A family friend claimed the youth had bleeding on the brain and said "everyone is just praying he'll be OK."

The motorist was later arrested by police on suspicion of four counts of attempted murder and was being quizzed by detectives at an Oxfordshire police station.

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Cannabis Ice Tea

An ice tea containing cannabis extract is hitting stores in the UK. C-Ice Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea is being marketed for its health benefits. All narcotic elements of the plant have been removed to make the drink legal - but the product is worrying drug experts. David Raynes, policy adviser at the National Drug Prevention Alliance UK, said: "This is a normalisation of cannabis as an image in young people's minds.
"So many people come off the rails because of cannabis, particularly young boys and early teens." The chilled black tea is described as having "added hemp blossom syrup with an extract of hemp bloom". It comes in individual cardboard orange containers decorated with cannabis leaves and the slogan "fantastic natural feeling". Produced by an Austrian company and using hemp grown in Switzerland, the product is already available on the Continent and in South Africa. The £1.29 ready-to-drink cans are being distributed via health food shops.

Gag Order Imposed In Penis Pump Trial

A gag order has been issued on all officers of the court including clerks, attorneys, witnesses and jurors as the penis pump trial of former District Court judge Donald Thompson became more graphic and bizarre.

A felony warrant is still outstanding for a key witness in the case, Thompson's former business partner who has disappeared.

Commanche County district judge C. Allen McCall also ordered that any video cameras, phone video cameras, still cameras and tape recorders be removed from the courtroom.

Nine former jurors in two murder trials at which Thompson had presided testified Thursday with one saying that he had observed Thompson clipping his toenails during proceedings and another one saying that she had been contacted the night before by defense counsel Clark Brewster and felt intimidated by the call. The woman said that Brewster had told her he didn't want any juror getting on the stand and testifying that Thompson had masturbated while on the bench and she alleged that he wanted her to change previous testimony.

The juror, Helen Orcutt, testified that she had seen Thompson's black robe moving up and down at the same time she heard a whooshing sound.

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Female fistfight forces plane landing

Police detained one woman and questioned two others early Sunday after a fight broke out in the first minutes of a flight to Puerto Rico, causing the plane to be diverted to John F. Kennedy Airport in New York, officials said.

One woman apparently started a fistfight with the other two, said Steve Coleman, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which runs the region's airports.

Port Authority police were to turn the women over to FBI officials, who would decide whether charges would be filed, Coleman said.

JetBlue Flight 561 took off from Newark, New Jersey, at 12:01 a.m. ET on Sunday and landed at JFK about an hour later, said airline spokeswoman Jenny Dervin.

The plane, carrying the remaining 147 passengers and six crew members, resumed its trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico, at 1:50 a.m. ET, she said.

The identities of those in custody were not immediately available.

Sandler comedy 'clicks' with audiences

Adam Sandler took charge of the remote control at the weekend box office.

His comic fantasy "Click," about a man whose new universal remote takes control of his life and leaves it in chaos, debuted as the No. 1 movie with $40 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.

Sony's "Click" bumped off the Disney-Pixar animated comedy "Cars," which slipped to second place with $22.5 million, raising its domestic total to $155.9 million.

The weekend's other new wide release -- Focus Features' "Waist Deep," starring Tyrese Gibson as an ex-con forced into a robbery spree to collect ransom for his kidnapped son -- opened strongly with $9.5 million to finish at No. 4.

"Waist Deep" played in 1,004 theaters and averaged $9,414 per cinema, compared to a $10,670 average for "Click" in 3,749 theaters.

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