Borat's Top 10 Tips for Sexytime

I like you? I like sex! Here I make my tops 10 checkings list for Americans mens on sexytime.

10. History of retardation in family: It important before make sexy time, to be sure there little or no historys of retardation in her family.

9. Yellow hairs: Everyones, even an Uzbeki, knows that woman has smaller brain than man. Some mens do not know, woman with yellow hairs has smallest brain of all.

8. Get vcr: sexy time womens love look on vcr with videotape cassette tape.

7. Is she shapeshifter? There is clever plastics surgeons in US and A look close on woman's head to checking she have not had remove of jew horns.

6. Erotic physique: If woman do have bosom that is not droop sufficient this can be remedy by attach rocks for 6 month. Miss Kazakhstan Karylgash Atmekova do this and now have beautiful pair that make dangle 1.3 metre.

5. Strong Physique. If you can carry a woman against her will for more than 5 mile she no good and will be too weak for pull plow in winter.

4. Make smell nice: Ladies like very much man who stench attractive. Ensure pungent chram by not wash at least 15 days before datings.

3. Moustache: Ladies like very much big moustache. I wishing mine was more—I was tease about it at school—it did not grow until I was 8 year old.

2. Use Protection: Do not make a sexytime without precaution against disease. A jar of gypsy tears worn around neck will prevent from infect by Herpes and Gonnoreas.

1. Prostitution: Check if woman have ever be a prostitute. It can obvious bring great shame to your family if she have not.