Bin Laden Offers Gibson Anger Management Lessons

Aug. 1, 2006 - In an extraordinary appearance on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network today, terror mastermind Osama bin Laden reached out to Mel Gibson and offered the Hollywood actor lessons in anger management. Millions of viewers tuned in expecting to see the Al Qaeda leader in one of his trademark terror videos, only to find the world's most wanted man giving career advice instead. Bin Laden said that while he did not know Gibson personally, he decided to offer his help after hearing about Gibson's anti-Semitic rant to an LAPD officer, which the Al Qaeda kingpin called "a cry for help." "Listen, I'm all for blaming things on the Jews,” said bin Laden, “but this guy went too far." The Al Qaeda leader said that the next time Gibson feels the urge to spew hateful rhetoric, "count to ten first." "There's a time and a place for everything," bin Laden said. "And the time to launch into an anti-Semitic tirade is when you're speaking on Al-Jazeera from the comfort and safety of your cave—not when you're stopped by the cops." In Malibu, Gibson was tightlipped on the topic of bin Laden's recommendations, but issued the following statement through an official spokesman: "Mel Gibson is not now nor has he ever been anti-Semitic, and is looking forward to putting this incident behind him so he can get to work on his next film, 'Lethal Rabbi.'"