MySpace User Masturbates to the Idiocy of Others

It’s a situation every girl finds herself in: you’re tooling around on your MySpace, staring at the self-portraits of your 56 “friends,” when you get a message from an old girlfriend looking to reconnect. You begin emailing each other, and your bond is quickly solidified through the intimacy of instant messages. Suddenly, your friend has a problem. She’s in deep shit with her art professor, and if she doesn’t turn in some tasteful nude portraits, she’ll lose her $2,000 scholarship. You care about your friend — after all, she is on your Buddy List — so you help her out by sending some naked pictures of yourself. It’s in the name of higher education, after all.

So when your “friend” turns out to be 20-year-old Hunter College student Elvin Chaung, who’s duped dozens of other young women into sending him similar pictures, you deserve to be extorted. You are, after all, a fucking idiot who should’ve known better. The only online friend you can trust is your business partner in Senegal.

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